Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
