Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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