this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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