1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize