I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize