Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
