Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Boobs are out for the taking
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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