watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All the doctor said was why
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
