he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize