I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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