i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
