i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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