Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
