Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
