btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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