I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
