i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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