I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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