he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
