You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
as a side note pls kill me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
