lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
