your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
