you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it because I queefed?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
