its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
