I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
