her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
