You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
