just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize