That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
