I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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