I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
