Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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