took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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