I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
