FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
