I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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