(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
