Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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