How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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