I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
