we're blogging at a bar
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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