we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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