Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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