Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
