I will die if light touches me.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
