Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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