I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
