Barsexuality is the new black.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
