it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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