I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
PANTIES FOUND
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