I don't think brook has ever known best
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
