How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
