i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
