It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I love you.
Bad choice
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
