Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
