guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
