maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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