I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
