Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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