She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
