Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
