Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
